I kept thinking during the Million People March to Luneta last Sunday: “If these same people who are so aghast and raving mad right now at the misuse of the Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF) get into power by election or appointment, will they be able to get their hands clean?”

I wasn’t.

When I was assigned a vehicle in my stint with the Philippine Information Agency in 1986, my outlook changed. I considered it my own, something I had earned. When my superiors wanted to have my vehicle—because it was fresh—I reacted with imagined hurt.

The nerve of that guy.

I was more than an activist, and up this point in my life, I remain one. I think I will always require idealism, not from others, but in myself, that I will not present anything less than the ideal. But there you have it, a realization, that when power, big or small, ever gets into our hands, we will not let go, no sir. It is human instinct.

Who was it who said that if all men were angels, there would be no need for government? Paraphrasing it to fit in today’s PDAF world, if all leaders were angels, there would be no need for a million marchers. But there will always be corrupt ones, as there will always be idealists. Sometimes their roles change, such as what happened to the impeached and unlamented Chief Justice Renato Corona. He thought it was his time to come out, after all, the rally was anti-PNoy.  He was wrong. Booed after sharing his thoughts, he had to leave the rally area completely humiliated.

But as I said, would the people who booed or shouted invectives be idealists if they were in the former Chief Justice’s shoes? I doubt it. I doubt it because of personal experience. There no saints in the face of wealth, convenience (such as my powerful vehicle, a Toyota Land Cruiser model 1985 or so, standard issue in Greg Cendana’s National Media Production Center).

I’m happy that the million marchers rally happened. It was timely.  But I’ve been in the business of rallying for a long time, enough for me to say that we are all weak, we are all sinners. And so when I shout with the multitude that the guilty ones should be punished, I’m really saying: “If ever I am caught doing the wrong thing, please punish me on earth, so that I can reform. I will consider it a favor if I am corrected, so that I will get a second chance to be good again.”

Such is life, roles will be reversed, the world is round, sooner or later the rich will be chastised, and the poor will be in power. I hope that we will be wise enough to know that we are all sinners anyway, and I hope that we will have time to repent.  Mass actions trigger these thoughts in me, thoughts about the frailty of man and woman, thoughts about the power we have to be good, and our weakness to stave temptation. I thank God that I knew I was wrong about my reaction when my service vehicle was pulled, I thank him for giving me another chance.